“Well, she isn’t doing it right, Artie dear. Must want tutoring, she’s doing it so wrong it has to be a plea for attention. I think she’s trying to get in your pants. I know the type.” said Maggie sweetly.
Edie’s first shift wasn’t going easily. Arthur, who turned out to be the supervisor, was completely tuned out, trying to decipher the subtleties of some obscure interaction between networking protocols and a time-based glitch in the sub-router T-gate. Edie herself was thrown in at the deep end, asked to work with Maggie to get traffic around the ailing topology so a proper diagnosis could be effected. And Maggie- well, Maggie whiffed of heat, was extremely agitated, and was sniping at Edie every chance she got, for no immediately apparent reason. It was going to be a very long day.
“Okay,” tried Edie, “what am I doing wrong, Maggie? You know this better than I do.”
“That’s right. You can’t re-route like that. It’s going to go, fweeeeeee-BOOM and we are going to have mission-critical data all over the floor. Just step aside, let me handle this.”
Edie’s ears flattened. “I was asked to help you with it…”
Maggie’s ears were already laid back in obvious hostility. “You can’t. Get out of the way.”
Arthur looked up momentarily at the two bristling felines. “Maggie, stop that.” He resumed his trance again.
Edie swallowed back the sour taste that was creeping up her throat. “I’ll route it manually.”
“No, I will route it manually…” stated Maggie.
“No,” persisted Edie, “you need to merge it again past the traffic problem, and you know it. You’re the one who knows what gets to which busses. All I need to do is ride the splitter to keep the flow manageable. Three splits should get around this problem. Right?”
Maggie paused, glowering, and suddenly said “Do it. On three.” She took a position at a well-worn keyboard, attention so locked on a high-scan screen that her body seemed to vibrate with pent-up tension. “One. Two.” she said, and Edie scrambled to her own position. “Three!”
For half an hour there was nothing but the sound of tense breathing and the chatter of keyboards being hammered at. The two cats wrestled with a data-stream that was like a high-pressure hose, impossibly deflecting it while the strangely quiet Arthur peered at the faulty router software in the resulting lull, as if there was all the time in the world. Again and again, the temporary linkages would saturate, and just before they did, Edie would divert traffic to a new path and Maggie would catch it as it came through and weave it into the complex dance of purpose her data was undergoing. There was no time to blink. The warning signs were coming barely in time, even over the two hundred hertz high-speed scan CRTs. And all the while, Arthur wandered about, poking at bits of router, humming absently to himself, his eyes not registering the presence of either desperately struggling feline.
Finally, he typed in some commands, then some more, and with a little flourish, struck return, and Edie’s router paths dropped instantly to zero load. Edie knew better than to look up from the screen, for it could be only a fluctuation. Arthur noticed this with amusement, as he glanced back and forth from one tense feline to another. Neither would be the first to risk looking up.
“You’re done.” said Arthur, smiling. “Go get a cup of tea at the Cafe. That’s enough for one day. I can handle anything else that comes up, I promise.”
Edie blinked- when Arthur had said they were done, Maggie had collapsed over her keyboard in a heap. Edie began to get up and quietly depart, but Arthur cleared his throat.
“No.” he said, “not alone. Both of you helped fix this, I want both of you to go decompress. I saw what was happening, and you need to talk anyhow. Please? Now, go help Maggie. She’ll need help walking.”
“She won’t take it from me.” argued Edie.
“Yes, she will.” said Arthur gently. “Go.”
At his prompting, Edie stepped uncertainly over toward the stricken Siamese, wondering what to do. Arthur joined her, and prodded Maggie gently on the shoulder, producing a faint, rather pathetic mew.
“Maggie, Edie is going to take you to the Cafe for a cup of tea.” said Arthur, firmly.
“Don’t want a cup of tea.” whined Maggie weakly.
“Yes you do,” he said. “You always have a cup of tea after these things happen.”
“Don’t want to have it with her,” complained Maggie.
“Oh, now, she doesn’t want my help.” protested Edie. “I told you so.”
“That doesn’t matter.” said Arthur, in vexation. “She’s showing inexplicable bugs and you are going to solve them. I won’t have my people behaving this way, so run along, and you’re ordered to talk to each other and come to an agreement. I don’t care what the problem was, I just want it gone. You’re capable of being a great team and I refuse to waste that in personality conflicts. Go settle your differences, come back tomorrow with purrs and happy faces.”
Arthur hoisted Maggie to her feet, pushed her against Edie, and pulled Edie’s arm around the tiny Siamese catgirl. “There. Now go have tea, and leave me to my work.”
He watched, stubbornly, until the two felines were actually out the door.
As Edie padded awkwardly down the corridor, thankful that the lab they’d been working at wasn’t too distant, she concentrated on keeping Maggie upright. The tiny Siamese was barely able to proceed, her little body shivering violently, her legs trying to give way every few steps. Finally, they arrived at the Cafe, which was sparsely populated at mid-day, and Edie parked Maggie at a secluded table, went off, and returned with tea and some semi-appropriate junk food. She shook Maggie very gently, as the kitten had passed out again, and she sat across from Maggie and wondered where to begin. Finally, she just said, “So what happened?”
“Sometimes he would carry me…” said Maggie blearily.
“What?” blinked Edie, confused.
“Oh, it’s all right, it’s just my right to hate you for it,” said Maggie, “surely you must understand that. I had him first, dear.”
Edie’s heart began to pound. “Walter.”
“You won’t keep him, you know. He has funny notions about love. I would swoon away when he’d come to the lab, at times like today’s, and carry me home in his arms when I couldn’t walk… it was like I didn’t weigh anything at all to him…”
“You almost don’t,” said Edie, trying to divert the conversation.
“And then, instead of sitting here, alone, shaking… well, I don’t have to tell you, do I, kitty?” said Maggie bitterly. “I’m quite sure you know. Rick says you’re an EI too. Tell me, have you had all of him yet? It took me two weeks to get him to bury himself in me all the way. But perhaps he learned from that, perhaps you got every inch of that glorious bulk right away without having to beg and wheedle…”
“Maggie, stop.” said Edie, horrified, her hand beginning to shake.
“Why should I? It’s the only pleasure I can get from him anymore. Reminiscing. I am just feeling sick and rotten and jealous and I want you to wince, darling, to cringe at what you’re doing. Do you love the way he is so blunted for a canid? The way he has to shove to enter you, that huge blunt tip tucking into you and stretching you all at once?”
“Maggie, damn it, stop!” begged Edie, shaking. “You don’t understand!”
“How could I not understand?” said Maggie bitterly. “What part don’t I understand? The wild, heady dizziness of his movings inside me? The knot expanding until I was nearly fainting? The gushers of his release and the eager hunching motions he can’t repress? What part don’t I understand?”
Edie bit her lip, tears leaking from her eyes. She now smelt as bad as Maggie, and it made her want to run away and hide. The unwanted intimacy was not something she could defend against, it played on fantasies she couldn’t discard. Her arousal hurt, and it hurt badly.
“He won’t make love to me.” managed Edie, finally, for lack of any better way to explain it- and Maggie’s eyes glanced up suddenly, went to Edie’s eyes in startlement and confusion.
“What did you say?” said Maggie uncertainly.
Edie wiped away a tear of tension and frustration, feeling like she had no control at all over what was happening. “It’s a little complicated, but he won’t make love to me. You’re wrong, and don’t ever talk like that again! Don’t you know what it does?”
Maggie blinked. “Let me get this straight. You are, in fact, EI.”
Edie nodded.
“You’ve spent a lot of time with him recently, and he is just about ready to fight to defend your honor.”
Edie thought, and nodded again, wiping away another tear.
“But he has never made love to you.”
Edie shook her head. “Never!”
“Are you in love with him?” asked Maggie.
Edie whimpered faintly, and Maggie looked her over and said “Don’t even answer that. Do you have another lover here somewhere?”
Edie shook her head. Maggie began to look distinctly alarmed.
“What is your rating, Edie, and when was the last time you had lovemaking?”
“f… Four thousand, and two and a half months ago.” stammered Edie.
Maggie’s jaw dropped, and she reached out in a flash, clasping Edie’s paw with her own. “Oh my God. What have I done? You poor baby…”
“I want to go home,” managed Edie, and then she burst into tears.
Maggie struggled to her feet. “Oh, my God, baby, how can I ever… look, we’re going to get you home, then I will fetch anybody you want, and I’ll skulk off and probably find Rick…”
Edie didn’t want to get up, she wanted to stay crying on the table, but Maggie stubbornly set about getting her home. The little Siamese’s legs wobbled heavily, but it didn’t take too much effort- eventually they found Edie’s room, and Edie blindly, fumblingly unlocked the door and stumbled in. Maggie hesitantly followed, watching as Edie collapsed on the couch.
“Should I go?” asked Maggie. Edie shook her head, sobbing.
Maggie sat next to the weeping kitten, holding her and providing a furry shoulder to soak up tears. She petted Edie, softly and tenderly,and eventually Edie’s sobs quieted. Then, suddenly, Edie gasped and pulled away.
Maggie blinked. “That was only nipples, honey, petting down one row. Was that wrong? I understand girl cats. I can heal your hurts.”
Edie shivered, staring through wide, tear-streaked eyes. “Please, no? I don’t want you to make love to me. Maybe you should go now.”
Maggie blinked again, then again. “You’re a strange kitty, Edie. You mean that, do you? I won’t touch you there again. Unless you ask me to.”
“…good,” said Edie weakly, “because I still need a hug that isn’t dirty.”
Maggie said nothing in reply, just hugged Edie close for a few minutes in silence. Then, she murmured, “You need to do something about this, Edie-kitty.”
“Can’t.” sniffled Edie.
“Yes you can, and you will. Are you going to be okay to sleep, Edie?”
Edie simply nodded.
“Good for you. I’m sure not- I’ll probably settle for Rick if I can’t get anybody really good. No more crying?”
“Not right now,” said Edie softly.
“That will have to do. Poor kitten…” purred Maggie. “You don’t know how much I wish I could help you now.”
Edie blinked. “You hurt, but you also helped.”
“That,” purred Maggie, “is not what I meant.” She reached out to tickle one of Edie’s exposed nipples, caught herself in the act, and stopped herself. “I think I had better get away from here, sweet and moral kitten, because you aren’t the only one who needs soothing. You’ll be all right?”
“I’ll be all right.” said Edie quietly.
Maggie got up, wobbly but able to walk, and she padded to the door with the familiar gait Edie had seen her first night in the Cafe, prowling fluidly, tail held to the side without shame. She glanced back at Edie as if hoping for some kind of invitation, and when she did not get one, she was out the door with the flicker of a half-smile, and the wafting of feline perfumes which lingered impossibly, lingered until Edie figured out she was picking up her own.
Edie was so exhausted, she crawled over to her bed and simply collapsed. By the time she’d decided her body was too sexually excited to get any sleep without first reaching orgasm, she had fallen asleep anyway, and so her tensions worked themselves out in a series of wildly, feverishly vivid dreams, most of which were about Walter.
The other one was about Maggie, but Edie did not remember it past the moment.
