“What do you mean, you won’t be a First Lord? Are women not allowed to be lords?”
Jinx was very frustrated. It seemed to him that if he was expected to be King, and order people about, it was quite insufferable of them to balk, and disobey, and confuse him further with complicated objections.
Rebecca looked apologetically at Mick, and Peter, and Sean. They had been Jinx’s first choices, and were already First Lords themselves in the fullness of the office thanks to Mick’s and Peter’s magicking. Mick had suggested Rebecca himself, in no uncertain terms- his words had been, “Now you’ve got to go fetch Rebecca- she’s the one you need. She’s the one you need.” while Peter looked on, his expression unreadable. Now, Rebecca was putting up unexpected resistance.
“Or don’t you like the other lords?” asked Jinx, the tip of his tail twitching in vexation.
“No, you don’t understand,” protested Rebecca, eyes downcast. “I do, but that’s just the problem. I like them too well.”
Elanor glanced over from the bed, ears quirked. “Does that mean having sex with them?”
This broke the tension, and all the humans laughed, vexing Jinx further- it seemed to him to be a perfectly reasonable question, and he snapped, “Well, does it? Why do you refuse?”
At this, two heads looked in the door, hearing Jinx’s angry tone- Gordon, who was guarding the door, and Andrew. Jinx blinked, seeing the latter. “What are you doing here, Andrew?” he said.
“May I enter, sire?” replied the Rover leader, in his self-possessed way, and Jinx nodded, trying to fight off the irritation- there were simply too many people around, which invariably made things too complicated.
Andrew entered, with a courtly bow, and answered, “I’ve been discussing with Gordon what you may require of us in the near future, sire…”
Jinx forgot Rebecca for a moment, and informed Andrew, “Stop calling me sire! I thought I told you people that I wanted you to call me by my real name!”
The man didn’t blink, but still gave the impression of being off-balance. “But one addresses the King…”
Jinx interrupted him, growling softly, “Do you think I’m not allowed to change that?”, and Andrew fell silent- and, shortly, replied, “Point to you, Jinx.” He seemed impressed, and a little disconcerted- an expression mirrored in the face of Peter.
Jinx turned to Rebecca again. “Why?”
She looked around shyly, at each First Lord in turn, and replied, “It needs to be more balanced than this. It wouldn’t work. I’m sorry, Mick! This must be your doing, but it’s wrong!”
Mick burst out, “It is not wrong! Maybe it’s the rightest idea to come along in a coon’s age!”
Rebecca unexpectedly appealed to one of the quiet listeners. “Peter, tell him! Make them understand.”
At this, Jinx turned in exasperation on Peter. “No, tell me! You’ve been keeping so quiet that you’re no help at all! What good is making you a First Lord if you’re not going to be any help?”
At this, Peter glanced at Andrew, seemingly with a shared thought, and Jinx, observing this, cried out, “Would you people please stop confusing me?”
Peter rose to the occasion, looking abashed. “I’m sorry, Jinx. The reason I looked at Andrew just then is that he understands why I’m being silent. I’m rather a strong personality, Jinx, and right now you need to learn how to be King without someone like me telling you every little thing to do. Andrew’s seen me doing that before, and he is right: it is no service to you, to turn you into a puppet King. So, I am trying very hard not to manipulate. We’re all feeling our way here, Jinx, not just you.”
Jinx nodded. “Thank you.” He thought a bit, and added, “You people, explain things that way! Stop being so damn complicated! But… Peter, why won’t Rebecca agree to be a lord? Why did she ask you to explain for her?”
“Because I know she’s right, Jinx. Sorry, Mick!” said Peter, forestalling an outburst from the country mage. “She IS right, and here’s why: you’re appointing all your personal friends as First Lords, and we’re much of the same opinions. That’s no good. What you are building here is called a cabinet- we are your advisors and your right arm and your administration, and we’re too alike. Rebecca would be a third mage, her and Mick and Sean would be three very informal types…”
Sean snorted, and Peter continued, “But it’s true, Sean- there isn’t enough variety. We haven’t any real aristocracy, we haven’t any fighting men…”
Jinx turned, and called loudly, “Gordon!” and Peter went silent, his face wooden. Andrew, as well, went wooden and stared at nothing as Gordon entered, looking about with his usual air of an unaccountably deadly puppy dog.
“Gordon, you’re a fighting man, and you’re supposed to be good at it,” said Jinx, at which Gordon brightened. “So I’d like you to be a First Lord. Mick there can set you up with the…”
“No!” cried Gordon, glancing around in dismay, and Jinx heaved a heartfelt sigh. Jinx looked sidelong at the tall warrior, now so distressed, and purred, “And why not? Please explain it simply as your King is having a very long and tiresome day.”
In the bed, Elanor snickered at his discomfiture. Jinx turned, stuck his tongue out at her, and returned his attention to Gordon. “Well?” His tailtip twitched as he waited for his explanation.
Gordon stammered. “Please don’t ask me to do that. Why don’t you get Hugo or someone who’s used to being a Lord? I’m a good guard. Why didn’t you ask my master Andrew?”
Jinx glanced at Andrew, who was doing the wooden-faced thing again. “Why should I? He doesn’t like me. He was ready to fight me.”
Gordon replied, “He’s a warrior, Jinx, and he does like you now! You impressed us all with your courage and you’ve begun to command like a true King.”
“He doesn’t look like he likes me. He looks like he ate something that’s giving him indigestion,” said Jinx, at which Peter interjected, “So would I be, Jinx- you’re humiliating him without meaning to. You’ve passed him over in favor of his subordinate and we’re all talking as if he’s not here. Andrew, do you in fact like Jinx now?” Elanor watched this exchange carefully.
Andrew cleared his throat and answered. “Jinx is a true King such as I’ve rarely seen. If he chooses to elevate my man Gordon I can only honor this, for I know Gordon is a good man. If my King so wishes, I will order him…”
Elanor, suspicious, interrupted him. “You’re not answering the question! For some reason you changed around completely. Do you LIKE my mate, or not?”
Andrew met her jungle eyes without flinching- but his eyes grew a bit misty. “My Queen, my Lady- I like and admire him more than I can express. He is a true, courageous creature, and he is honest like few I’ve seen. Yes, I do like him.”
Jinx’s head was almost dizzy from following the endless exchanges back and forth, but as he glanced Elanor’s way again, she nodded, considering this, and told him, “Pick that one. He’ll do,” and curled up comfortably again with her tail round her nose.
Jinx protested, “But Elanor, I thought you didn’t like him! You were gonna rip his throat out just the other day!”
Elanor gave Jinx a look, and purred, “He talks funny but he’s like me. Now that he likes you he’ll come in handy if you need to fight somebody. Pick him.” As Jinx looked around at the humans present, Elanor purred, “For heaven’s sake! Just pick him!”
Jinx sighed. “Gordon, you can go back outside now. Andrew, will you be one of my First Lords?”
“Yes, s… Yes, Jinx,” said Andrew sincerely, as Gordon scooted outside, much relieved, to stand guard once more.
“Fine,” said Jinx. “See Mick over there for the magic stuff.” As Andrew reluctantly approached an obviously disapproving Mick, Jinx thought out loud. “That’s four- Lord Peter, Lord Mick, Lord Sean, Lord Andrew, and now there needs to be a fifth…”
“Jinx!” cried Elanor, noticing that Mick and Andrew were facing off as if ready to fight, Andrew glowering and Mick readying his hands for some spellcasting if needed.
Jinx whirled on the two. “You behave! Andrew, go see Peter instead, he can do it. Mick, if you have a problem with the man take it up with Elanor…”
Rebecca suggested, “I might have a problem with him too if he carries on hurting the locals.”
“You’re the one who didn’t want to be a Lord,” said Jinx. “You’re the one who wanted someone different. Well, there you are, someone different! In fact, why don’t I go get Hugo and make him a First Lord too? Or Bobo, that bear who ran off into the woods?”
Andrew turned, and spoke calmly. “Actually, my l… Actually, Jinx, that is a very good idea. Some people mock Hugo but the man is stout and loyal…”
“He is fat, yes. Does that help?” asked Elanor.
“Ahahaha, my Queen,” said Andrew politely. “What I meant was this: Hugo exemplifies the aristocracy of Rainmoor, and his loyalty is beyond question. It would be expedient to elevate him, since your Cabinet represents all manner of folk excepting his. Do you concur, my Lord Peter?”
Elanor complained, “He’s talking funny again!” but Peter, repressing a smile, nodded and said, “Indeed I do, my Lord Andrew. I wouldn’t have thought of it, myself, but you have a point.”
Sean looked disbelieving. “You want to rub elbows with toadies?” to which Peter replied sharply, “Name one person more loyal to the King, Sean. And he’s another balancing factor. I must admit that I’m nervous about our informal character as a Cabinet.”
“Why?”
“Because,” said Peter, “we’ve got to get back into Rainmoor somehow. We can’t stay here. Rainmoor started to go chaotic when King Jinx left it, and I can’t be certain it will return to its stable existence if it has a King, but the whole cabinet are so unlike Hugo. For thousands of years Rainmoor thrived on royalty very like Hugo. It’s possible that it derives its form and stability from that…”
Jinx watched this discussion, interested and baffled. “So- what do we do?”
Peter smiled at Jinx. “If you trust my judgement, then you’ll appoint Hugo a First Lord, and we’ll have our five. Rebecca, what do you think of the man?”
She smiled as well. “A complete windbag, our Hugo, but he’s genuinely kind. Has a fearful desire for pomp and circumstance, though.”
Elanor offered, “He doesn’t like to look at me and Jinx in bed for some reason, but I can tell him to go away and he does it without complaining.”
Jinx considered all this, and said, “Bring him!”
When Hugo was brought before Jinx and the First Lords, he was quite overwhelmed and flustered, and he said, “My liege, what would you require of me?” on bended knee.
Jinx patted him on the head kindly. “I need you to be a First Lord so you can be pompous for us and know about aristocracy.” And then, as Hugo dropped on both knees in joy, Jinx added, “And you have to call me Jinx, not My Liege!”
Hugo stopped in mid-joyous-exclamation. “But I cannot, my liege!”
“Yes, you can,” said Jinx. “Try real hard.”
“One doesn’t! I beg of you, my liege, do not ask this of me! The weight of history may not lightly be thrown aside!” protested Hugo, to the obvious interest of Peter.
“Form and stability, hmmmm, Jinx?” said Peter.
Jinx blinked. “I shouldn’t make Hugo talk like a regular person?”
“Possibly not.” said Peter. “In any event, he doesn’t want to talk that way- and we want him because he’s sensitive to that sort of thing.”
Jinx regarded Hugo, who looked up at him imploringly. “All right- you may call me a liege all you want. Go and have Mick do the magic stuff to make you a First Lord, and we’ll be all finished.”
Sean muttered under his breath, “With this lot, we’re bloody finished before we even start!”
